The first time she talked to Dillon Andrew, Thoa had just divorced her husband, lost her child, and was saddled with nearly a billion VND in debt, so she thought “there’s nothing good left in this life” for her.
Hoang Thi Thoa, 33 years old, from Nghe An got married at the age of 26, but in the fourth month of pregnancy, she had to terminate her pregnancy. In the pain of losing her child, she also discovered her husband had betrayed her. The couple’s company was losing money, leaving her in debt.
“I felt like I had lost everything and was at a dead end, so I thought about it,” said Thoa, who currently lives in Hanoi. But she decided to stand up and do everything she could to repay her debt.
Dao buried herself in work, working as a content writer for hire, working at an import-export company, and working as a headhunter. The characteristics of a headhunter require being good at English, while Thoa has lost his roots.
She went to forums to learn how to study and was told “the easiest way is to make Western friends”. Download dating apps for foreigners with that mindset. She sent friend requests to many people living in the UK and the US, but when she said she was living in Vietnam, they all ignored her.
In early 2020, only a guy named Dillon Andrew, an IT engineer, responded to Thoa’s message.
The two texted back and forth a few times, but the girl was not fluent in English so she quickly became discouraged. Busy writing content to make money to pay off debt, Thoa no longer logs into the app. But on the other side of the ocean, through just a few text messages and Thoa’s profile picture, the American guy lingered.
At that time, the Covid-19 epidemic started to get complicated, and not being able to text the Vietnamese girl made Andrew worried. Every few days he texted Thoa, even though there was no response.
More than half a year later, Thoa opened the dating app and saw Andrew’s message. “You keep texting me regularly, asking if you died of Covid, why don’t you answer?” Thoa said.
Both amused and touched by the stranger’s concern, she texted back about her condition. From then on, the two talked every day. Dao honestly talked about life events, stating clearly that the purpose of downloading the app was not to find a boyfriend but just to learn English.
Having heard many money scams through social networks, Andrew is a bit shy. He was afraid that she would pretend to be in a situation to ask for money, but he still talked to Thoa and was willing to teach English. The first time they called each other via video, the American boy taught the Vietnamese girl how to pronounce the English alphabet.
Seeing her diligently absorbing things without any intention of ”asking for money”, Andrew opened his heart more.
He also said that he is the child of a family with divorced parents, so he sympathizes with what Thoa is going through. A month after talking again, the girl sent him a pack of tea, a thermal shirt, two bamboo cups engraved with their names, and a set of bamboo cutlery engraved with the names of the fruits he taught her in English. . The boy sent her back a four-leaf clover, a stuffed tiger and a box of chalk.
Thoa and Andrew on a trip to Tam Dao, Vinh Phuc, November 2023. Image: Thoa Hoang
Small actions from both sides make their hearts flutter. But Thoa thinks that a person who truly meets someone, truly loves them, and can change, cannot trust a stranger on social networks. She proactively offered to maintain the friendship. For a year straight, the two only talked occasionally.
During that time, focusing on work, Thoa paid off all his debt, but felt empty inside. Andrew also saw time as a test that helped him realize how much he missed the Vietnamese girl.
He realized that it was not that the two did not have feelings, but that the language and space barriers prevented them from understanding and trusting each other enough. In September 2022, the American boy decided to fly to Vietnam. When Mrs. Lisa Marie, Andrew’s mother, found out about the story, she gave Thoa a bracelet. Andrew bought a lot of raisins as gifts, because he knew she liked them.
”Seeing Thoa pick me up at the airport felt like a dream. She was much prettier than in the picture,” he recalled. They traveled to Hanoi, Da Nang, and Ninh Binh as friends. Arriving in Vietnam, Andrew realized that what the girl told him was completely true. But up until that point, Thoa had never once asked Andrew for help with anything.
One morning while traveling in Da Nang, while chatting, Andrew suddenly burst into tears, confusing the Vietnamese girl. ”I regret not coming to Vietnam sooner to understand you and make up for the hurt you went through,” he said.
During the days they were together, Andrew always asked her how she felt, if she was comfortable and happy when she was with him. He doesn’t like taking pictures but is always ready when she wants. He didn’t want to eat seafood but went with Thoa because she liked it.
More importantly for the Vietnamese girl, the American guy doesn’t hide anything if she wants to know. Having lived with a man who “had difficulty even touching his phone”, Andrew gave the Vietnamese girl a feeling of absolute safety.
When they clearly know what their hearts want, the two lovers begin to think about their future. In April 2023, Andrew once again returned to Vietnam to visit his lover and meet her family.
Pham Thi Thanh and her husband were initially apprehensive when their daughter fell in love with a foreign man. But Andrew returned to Nghe An, slept at Thoa’s younger brother’s house, learned to eat Vietnamese food, imitated Nghe An, and always showed concern and politeness towards adults, making Mrs. Thanh more sympathetic.
”The important thing is that Andrew is very attentive to my child’s feelings,” she said.
Andrew and Thoa just held their wedding ceremony in Vietnam on April 19. Character photo provided
In October 2023, he went to Vietnam to register his marriage with Thoa. Earlier this year, her mother-in-law and Andrew rushed to buy and complete the interior of an apartment in Hanoi as a birthday gift for her.
Because the Vietnamese girl did not want to change her living environment, the husband decided to live half the year in Vietnam and half the year in his homeland.
Changing the living environment for an introvert like Andrew is really a challenge. He was always tired because he was not used to the weather and his working hours and meetings lasted from midnight to early morning.
But every morning Andrew is the one who prepares breakfast, eats with his wife and then goes to bed. “He always shows gratitude when I cook, so he does it as a way of giving back,” Thoa said.
The Vietnamese girl said that living next to her husband who is as happy as a child helps her think more simply and know how to let go.
Above all, Andrew’s love makes Thoa believe that after all the turmoil, there are always good things waiting for her ahead. The wound that I thought would never heal is no longer painful. The belief in love and happiness that had previously seemed to disappear now filled Thoa.
“Now I not only have a foreign language to develop my career, but I also have a life partner and an English teacher by my side from morning to night,” she said.
Pham Nga
