The beauty queen regretted taking her 6 children away from the city to the forest, the mother sympathized with the village school situation

“If you want to go to a village school, you must know how to live like a village”

Recently, Miss Oanh Yen shared with the media about bringing her 6 children back to Saigon after 4 years of “leaving the city for the forest” and working on a farm in Suoi Dzui hamlet, Dong Nai province.

During those 4 years, her 3 older children spent half a year going to school at Suoi Dzui.

Moving from an international school to a village school, the beauty queen’s children could not adapt. She said that the different cultural environment, teaching style, and curriculum are not the same as the old school, making it difficult for her children to absorb knowledge and integrate.

Miss Oanh Yen is taking care of the procedures for her children to return to international school. During the entrance exam, 2 of her 3 children failed the exam and had to wait to retake the exam.

Sympathizing with the story of Miss Oanh Yen, Ms. Hoang Tuyet Mai (41 years old), a single mother, confided: “I also spent half a year bringing my child from Hanoi to Hai Duong to live. That was the time I extremely regretful,” Ms. Mai confided.

In 2022, Ms. Mai accepted a job at a factory in Hai Duong. The day she traveled back and forth for more than 100 kilometers, Ms. Mai was tired and exhausted. In the morning, she goes to work before the child wakes up, and comes home at night when the child has finished eating. I go home with my dad at the weekend. For many months, mother and son did not have a conversation together.

Seeing her daughter becoming more and more quiet, she decided to bring her to live in Hai Duong so that mother and daughter could be closer to each other.

Ms. Mai asked for her child to go to a public elementary school near the company. In the morning she takes her child to school, and in the afternoon she asks a friendly staff member to pick her up.

Ms. Mai thinks that mother and child are close together, the village school is friendly, the air is open, the pace of life is slow and peaceful… are the ideal factors for her child to have a “quality” life. However, after only one semester, she had to bring her child back to Hanoi in torment.

“I couldn’t integrate into the school or class. In Hanoi, I studied at a private, international school. When I returned to the village school, I was “shocked” because the curriculum was different and the way the teachers taught was different.

I also can’t make friends with anyone. At recess, I sit alone in the classroom reading books. After work, you guys walk home together, while I wait for someone to pick me up. On weekends, the children here go to each other’s houses to play, then I return to Hanoi with my father.

In Hanoi, I have grandparents who come to my house every morning and afternoon to cook and chat with me. In Hai Duong, I locked the door waiting for mom to come home. One day I was so busy, I finished making arrangements to go home with my child at 7:30 a.m., and as soon as I opened the door I saw my child lying on the sofa sobbing,” Ms. Mai recalled.

After witnessing her child crying alone, Ms. Mai encouraged her child to finish the semester so that he could have a transcript to transfer back to Hanoi. Right after the school year ended, she brought her children back to the city, erasing the dream of “leaving the city and returning to the village, living in peace”.

Ms. Mai believes that she and Miss Oanh Yen made the mistake of using subjective thoughts to decide on their children’s living and learning environment without first researching and preparing suitable conditions for them. child.

“The village school is friendly but not easy to integrate. If you send your child to the village school but still drop him off in the morning, pick him up in the afternoon, spend the weekend hanging around the house, and don’t make friends with neighbors, he won’t have a chance to make friends. No.” If you have friends, your child will become lost, bored, and easily develop negative emotions, which will directly affect their studies,” Ms. Mai said.

The single mother learned a lesson after 5 months of experimenting with provincial life: “Study at a village school, you must know how to live in a village style.”

The countryside is a completely foreign place to my old living conditions. There are no supermarkets, bookstores, amusement parks, convenient restaurants, or friends with whom you match your interests, lifestyle, and share common interests.

Ms. Mai herself did not help her child integrate, still keeping living habits like city people instead of practicing living habits like people in the countryside so that her child gradually changes and adapts.

Leaving the city for the village requires a long-term plan

Commenting on the story of Hoang Tuyet Mai and beauty queen Oanh Yen taking their children “from the city to the forest” and leaving international school to return to the village, a psychologist who asked to remain anonymous said that the two mothers lacked a plan. Long-term planning for an important decision that has a great impact on children.

“If the information shared by the two mothers is complete, I think they were somewhat impulsive and impatient when they took their children away from the city to return to their hometown.

Changing the living, working, and studying environment has never been simple, even for adults. For children, it is truly a psychological upheaval.

Therefore, when deciding to change their child’s living environment or learning environment, parents should carefully discuss with their children what will happen, what difficulties they will face, and what solutions to overcome them. via.

When you have a complete visualization, you will be calmer to cope with change. From then on, I proactively change gradually, proactively find ways to adapt.

Ideally, parents would let their children experience the new living environment before actually moving to settle down. That means parents make a long-term plan for this.

For example, parents take their children to their new home during the summer and holidays, and take them out to play around the village so they can meet, make friends, and get to know each other. Parents should also build close relationships with neighbors. That way, when the whole family moves here completely, the children will not be surprised or unfamiliar,” the consultant advised.

Ms. Hoang Tuyet Mai confided that she left open the possibility of taking her children back to the province to live again in the future. When there is better preparation and the child becomes more mature, she believes that mother and child will be able to adapt to the new life.