The young bride was stunned when her mother-in-law urged her to give her dowry gold… to keep it for her

The mother-in-law asked her daughter-in-law to give her a dowry of gold

“Should I give my dowry gold to my mother-in-law to keep for her?”, the question that Nguyen Kim Ngoc asked in a closed group attracted thousands of comments.

Ngoc has been married for more than 2 weeks. Having just returned from her honeymoon, during dinner, her mother-in-law offered to give her the gold to keep. She explained that she and her husband were young, careless, and did not know how to manage money and expenses.

“While I was confused because I really didn’t want anyone to hold my gold, my husband hastily spoke up to support my mother. He turned to me and said, “Let her keep the gold for your peace of mind,” Ngoc tell.

Ngoc and her husband received more than 2 gold bars from their parents and relatives. In it, her mother-in-law gave her a 5-digit stirrup. Ngoc plans to buy a safe to store gold, wedding money as well as monthly savings. She is confident in her ability to manage finances.

Ngoc did not want to give gold to her mother-in-law, but was afraid that her mother-in-law would be displeased, thinking that she did not trust her, unintentionally creating a conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law.

“For the past two days, I pretended to forget my mother-in-law’s request to delay giving her the gold. Having only been a bride for 2 weeks, my mother-in-law and I have no problems. I also love and trust her. I believe she wants to preserve assets for my husband and I.

I also wondered whether I should follow her wishes or not. My husband advised me not to think too deeply. The gold is still mine, just instead of sending it to a safe or bank, I send it to… my mother-in-law.

However, I don’t feel very comfortable when I can’t keep my money. I’m also angry with my husband because he quickly agreed with my mother without asking, putting me in an awkward position,” Ngoc confided.

Notably, most of the comments surrounding the story advised Ngoc not to give gold to her mother-in-law.

Nguyen Phuong Mai (35 years old, Hung Yen) said she once gave gold to her mother-in-law to keep for the same reasons as Ngoc’s mother-in-law and husband said.

10 years later, she and her husband wanted to buy a piece of land to live on their own. She asked for her dowry gold back, but her mother-in-law replied, “I don’t have it now.”

“She said it as if I were borrowing gold from her, not asking for my property back, which she accepted to keep for me. She said she had to take care of many things for my husband and I, to pay for the wedding feast, prepare the wedding room, and take care of the grandparents.” asked my husband to change jobs…

I told her how much money she paid for my husband’s job change, how much it cost to repair the wedding room, I would like to return that part. The wedding feast has money to compensate for it. In the countryside, weddings are never at a loss because they are all done at home. As for the dowry gold that my parents, aunts, and uncles saved for me to get married, I asked her to send it back.

So she got angry, cried, and scolded me. My husband sat there not daring to say anything,” Mai recounted her painful experience.

She added: “Gold money must be hidden in the hem of your dress. You should absolutely not give it to anyone to keep for you, especially your mother-in-law. Because if a mishap occurs, you will not be able to claim it or sue because it is your husband’s mother, your children’s grandmother”.

Harsh prejudice about mothers-in-law keeping gold

Psychologist Tran Thi Huyen Trang believes that there is no general answer to the question of whether or not you should give gold to your mother-in-law to keep.

“This depends on the personal choice, personality and relationship of each mother-in-law – daughter-in-law couple,” Ms. Trang said.

Ms. Trang said: “Outsiders do not have enough information to give advice. If the bride does not want to send, she needs to list the reasons. She is afraid that her mother will take it away, afraid that she will not be able to control her purchases or sales. other fears.

And if she considers sending, she also needs to assess the risks: what is her mother-in-law’s personality like, is her way of managing family assets okay, are her husband’s family relationships healthy? , what is the relationship between them…

Based on those assessments, insiders make their own decisions whether they should or should not.”

The female psychologist also pointed out that in reality, there are barriers and prejudices that are not easy to eliminate for brides who choose to refuse to give gold to their mother-in-law to keep. What to say and how to say it so that your mother-in-law won’t be offended depends on each family’s culture as well as your personal personality?

“However, the general rule is to communicate frankly and peacefully, clearly state the reason why you do not want to and emphasize your autonomy and independence as an adult,” Ms. Trang stated. opinion.

Ms. Trang also advised women not to judge their mother-in-law in the story of asking her daughter-in-law to give her gold. In many cases, the proposal really comes from concern and love for children. In addition, in many rural areas, it is a family custom, habit, and tradition for the mother-in-law to keep gold for her daughter-in-law.

“Since ancient times, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law has been subject to many prejudices and scandals. Therefore, hastily judging the mother-in-law without enough information will unintentionally create suspicion, conflict and make her happiness worse. Family happiness is affected,” Ms. Trang advised.

According to Dan Tri

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