I am 61 years old and have been widowed for 11 years. More than 2 years ago, Ms. Nga – my close friend, whom I consider like a sister – set me up with Mr. Tuan, her old classmate. Mr. Tuan is 2 years older than me and has been a widower for many years. Considering that all factors from family background to previous occupations were similar, we seriously got to know each other.
After a period of getting to know each other, Mr. Tuan and I felt more and more fond of each other; The children of both sides also support and contribute to this relationship. Therefore, we decided to accompany each other in our old age but will not register marriage, nor live together in the same house.
During the past 2 years of our relationship, the two of us traveled to many places together, introduced friends to each other and returned home to visit our relatives. There are times when conflicts arise, but after resolving them, we are happy together again.
However, 2 months ago, an incident happened that caused me to lose sleep and eat until now, losing 4kg. Mr. Tuan and I traveled together to Ha Giang for a week. Even though we were a couple, we still slept in separate beds, not only on this trip but also on previous trips. That day, Mr. Tuan drank some wine and went to sleep early, while I lay awake still. Because I had trouble sleeping, when I saw that Mr. Tuan’s phone had text messages coming in, I was curious so I picked it up to see who was texting so much.
When I opened my phone and read those messages, I was so shocked that I choked up. The person who texted my boyfriend was Ms. Nga. My best friend said he loves Mr. Tuan very much. She used many suggestive words, even obscene language, no different from village girls who prey on men.
That whole night I stayed awake because I couldn’t understand the relationship between the two of them. If Mrs. Nga loves Mr. Tuan, why is she still a matchmaker for me? Mrs. Nga is happily married, why is she in love with her old classmate?
After the trip, I frankly asked Mr. Tuan why Ms. Nga texted like that, but he denied it, saying she was just talking nonsense and had nothing to do with it. I also asked Ms. Nga, but this neighbor completely denied it, saying “where is the evidence to say that?”.
(Illustration photo: MBC)
Even though both of them deny it, there is definitely something more than a simple relationship between them. My personality is not as terrible as Mrs. Nga’s, so I had to stay silent and say nothing more. From then on, the two sisters’ feelings became colder and no longer the same as before. I’m also more cautious, no longer telling her everything.
I thought a lot, put everything together and realized that during the times Mr. Tuan and I traveled together, Ms. Nga would always make video calls to my boyfriend and he always explained that we were only sleeping. Same room but not same bed. When we were together, I often saw Ms. Nga texting and calling Mr. Tuan. At that time, I didn’t pay attention because they were close classmates, but now the more I think about it, the more clearly I see that Mrs. Nga always shows signs of jealousy when we are together and makes affectionate gestures.
Mrs. Nga has been close to me for decades, and was the one who introduced me to my boyfriend, so in the past I would tell everything related to Mr. Tuan. Looking back now, I see that she was no different from a third person interfering in our love affair. Maybe she will still bring the bad things I said about Mr. Tuan to tell him.
In terms of appearance, speech and behavior, I am much better than Mrs. Nga. I am the more educated person, also a retired civil servant, while Mrs. Nga is an unskilled worker, only finishing high school. However, she is more eloquent than me, perhaps that’s why she makes him angry. Tuan was heartbroken.
At this age, I just hope to have an old friend to accompany me in the last years of my life, but Mr. Tuan seems to be getting colder and colder towards me. After reading the message, I felt like I lost faith in this relationship. Right now I don’t know what to do, I don’t know whether to talk to the two of them three times or quietly withdraw from this relationship.
Honestly, I have had a lot of love for Mr. Tuan all this time. If I lost my lover because of this, I would be very sad. I haven’t told anyone about this, including my children, so I really hope everyone can give me advice, because I’m in a lot of pain and don’t know what to do.
Readers who have comments or advice to share, please send them to the comment box below.
If you have problems in life, please do not hesitate to send them to us to receive sincere sharing and serious advice from readers. Please send comments to [email protected].
